i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
