how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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