dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
