How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
