that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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