She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
