oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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