i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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