erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
