Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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