i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Randomize
