we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
