Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
