i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
