singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
