Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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