No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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