I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
