Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
