there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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