Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
