I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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