Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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