I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
