You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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