good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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