He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
