Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
