I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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