I wannas sexs uuuuu
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
