You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
