Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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