I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Randomize