Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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