brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I am mentally ready for anal.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
