I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
