the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he fucked my hip out of place.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
