Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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