I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I checked into jail on foursquare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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