Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
