I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
