worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
