May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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