I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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