Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
