I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
