Sponge bath it is.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
