the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
