Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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