Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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