do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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