when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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