Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
