let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize