At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
